Are You Searching For Passionate, Compelling Love To The End?
“when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end” (John 13:1).
There was a heaviness and almost gloom that had laid upon my heart that week. All of the years of loving Pete had been a lesson in love my heart needed. It was throughout those years I had begun to understand at least a glimpse of God’s love toward me. To love someone so much that you are so vulnerable, and willing to endure selfless agony at times if only they were to find happiness. To love so dearly that you are willing to give up all other dreams, hopes and desires; if that would bring them joy. Yet, Pete at times was swallowed up by the darkness of bipolar depression. Although, I had watched that world in my own mother; I could not fully comprehend it. The chemicals in my own brain could not truly understand that world of mental illness. At times I was frustrated by it; yet, at other times like a mother would cradle her sick child, I longed to discover the cure. Perhaps if I could love just a little purer, I could sweep away the pain and darkness. That week, as I prayed; my prayer went like this. “Father, I have pleaded for years that you cure Pete. If the only way for him to be well and to find joy is to go home to you and for certain, he is your child—then I let go. If by any slim chance, he doesn’t know You, Lord—then give me the words and the strength to show him Your Love. Give me one more chance.” Two days later, he was gone to be with the Lord. That was July 23, 1994 that he died and still, today; I love Pedro Barba and I guess I always will unto the end—no matter what else my life brings.
Mine was such an imperfect love; as always is the case with human love. Yet, I tell you all this to help you FEEL GOD’S LOVE. Paul prayed earnestly for the church of Ephesus that they might be grounded in and strengthened by the love of Christ and that they “May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:18-19). That is my prayer for you.